FILM: 10000BC (Roland Emmerich) - 12a

oh why oh why oh why do i do this to myself? way off of my demographic, the ineffable and the existential this does not promise. instead an excruciating saunter through the hollywood quest movie as sketched out in that joseph campbell weekender the director attended back when we was a nipper. bedreadlocked youth in search of lost father, the girl, dignity, the tired old verities… this CGI by numbers behemoth disregards all claims for originality and instead artlessly guides you from one recent blockbuster to the next. leaning desperately on deranged mel’s startling and at times remarkable apocalypto, 10000BC failed to deliver furry bikinis and instead played dot to dot along this way: LOTR; Jurassic Park; Emmerlichs 2nd viewing yawn The Day After Tomorrow; that film with him out of Crying Game that became a tedious sci-fantasy teatime for a few seasons. I throughly recommend an evening at home putting yr books in alphabetical order rather than witness this soulless piece of industrial film-making. execrable.

say something nice: nice colour outfits on the priesthood.